YOUNG BUT UGLY

by CIVILS

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about

"YOUNG BUT UGLY" was recorded (and primarily written, save for "Halifax") in a single day on April 17th, 2015. This felt like a fitting debut for CIVILS because these are all entry-level songs, captured in the moment of creation and fleshed out through the extra 3 tracks of overdubs allotted by my trusty Tascam 424 cassette recorder.

This was an experiment in "audio sketching" i.e. trying to compose songs intuitively and in real-time; this wasn't supposed to come out, but by the end of the tape it felt like it had earned the title hastily scribbled as an afterthought on the actual cassette - "young but ugly", implying that not only were the songs undercooked, but hey, they're ugly too. no one wins.

The songs appear in their original order, with some mastering done in pro tools at our home studio Cave Sound. It came out on my 22nd birthday. Still young but ugly.

credits

released August 6, 2015

Everything performed & recorded by Drew Kirby at Cave Sound in Athens, Georgia.
Except vocal samples of (in order) Earl Sweatshirt, MC Shan and Beezy of DEHH.
Cover photo provided by Brittany Giles.
Photo manipulation + design by Drew Kirby.

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license

all rights reserved

about

CIVILS Athens, Georgia

CIVILS is the home recording project of Drew Kirby (Mothers, New Wives). CIVILS deals primarily in experimental pop and genre obfuscation. CIVILS prizes intuition over calculation. CIVILS aims to have as many tapes as lil b.

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Track Name: HALIFAX (original take)
the youth was always in decay
don't pay no mind to what they say.
older generations faked it until they could call us waste.
yeah your mother was never nothing more than just another mortal life form.

so there is nothing less important and our trials all intersect.
and we'll be rotting in a moment,
100 years, we'll start again with new tides, new cop outs, new situations.

the only thing that will remain is every place, oh what a slave
and the case for every vehicle will outlive all my friends
and our stories all will end and were ultimately boring

maybe we're lucky we give out early
maybe we learn all of our lessons before we start to breakin down
oh halifax, i saw you when i was dreaming
and now i can't seem to clear my mind
of the promises you proclaimed to me, arise
la di da
if our time for being here was no mistake, then nor must be our leaving
and if our being here was no mistake, then neither could be our leaving

we are deities.
we bring things into being that never leave.
in due time, i won't go outside,
ill have no time, ill have no need if i can venture through my screens to anything.

so these anxieties will stifle me in life and when i dream.
yeah these lies that i buy and believe lie with me when i sleep.
smoke my luckies much quicker lately.
i only gave you one,
i always keep three,
no reason.

maybe we're lucky & get bought out early.
but im sure it isn't pleasant to be the ones forgotten underground.
oh annabelle, you were the first one that i followed
and now i can't seem to compromise.
all the promises you made to me were lies!
la di da
if your time for being here was clear, then so must be your leaving.
if your time for being here was clear, then so must be your leaving.

so everytime that you felt well
and every place that you made love
and everytime you fed your family or, just ate well yourself
keep these things close, they are everything
Track Name: EPHEMERA
oh ephemera, loaded i might.
i lie all night, unfound.
certain, lurid
ooooooooo mmmmmm
Track Name: TWIN BOY
im on a crosshair
my words are paper thin and chalk outlined
and lessened by design
if i were an actor i might tell them of my chalice, all my lines
i might

i have a substance
i see whole twins of all my friends in foreign places i have been
i miss them constantly
i might just lay beside him if i try it i might like it
i might never wanna run or move away again
if i just loose it i will undo my ties, oooo
im waiting, i will provide
i am terrified

im blowing smoke at all the insects they oughta kill me i wouldnt blame them
i could feed all them for weeks and then theyd all have part of me
id just drift around eternally and thennnnnn..... shhhh
Track Name: CIRCLING HEIGHTS/GLORIA O
i don't see my friends that often
i won't talk on borrowed time
to me you are only breathing

and if i get the chance ill move along and deceive you
but you're my friend i only want you to be happy now
but i cant stand the way i miss you now

lets see if you're the world's safe bet,
O carol and me.
say you'll last and are only making your recess.

you only show up when the bars close.
you only wanna turn the light on.
well i miss times when we would stay up all night
and know that it is awful in life
when you are separate, undone, circling heights
sing me, circling heights

but you sing like "oh you waste your light if you're assigned to me. you waste your light but you won't fade out that easy."
you were always on time.

you only show up when the bars close,
it keeps me waiting up late again.
well i been thinking about the past times
and will we ever be that way again?
well i dont know, i dont know.
yeah you're doin pretty well,
yeah i know.

and i'm just wasting away
wasted, awake, and circling heights.
sing like oh, circling heights
sing me, circling heights

you pray like, "oh you waste your life if you gave your son to me.
waste your light but you won't fade out that easy."
always on time,
gloria o.