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YOUNG BUT UGLY

by CIVILS

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1.
the youth was always in decay don't pay no mind to what they say. older generations faked it until they could call us waste. yeah your mother was never nothing more than just another mortal life form. so there is nothing less important and our trials all intersect. and we'll be rotting in a moment, 100 years, we'll start again with new tides, new cop outs, new situations. the only thing that will remain is every place, oh what a slave and the case for every vehicle will outlive all my friends and our stories all will end and were ultimately boring maybe we're lucky we give out early maybe we learn all of our lessons before we start to breakin down oh halifax, i saw you when i was dreaming and now i can't seem to clear my mind of the promises you proclaimed to me, arise la di da if our time for being here was no mistake, then nor must be our leaving and if our being here was no mistake, then neither could be our leaving we are deities. we bring things into being that never leave. in due time, i won't go outside, ill have no time, ill have no need if i can venture through my screens to anything. so these anxieties will stifle me in life and when i dream. yeah these lies that i buy and believe lie with me when i sleep. smoke my luckies much quicker lately. i only gave you one, i always keep three, no reason. maybe we're lucky & get bought out early. but im sure it isn't pleasant to be the ones forgotten underground. oh annabelle, you were the first one that i followed and now i can't seem to compromise. all the promises you made to me were lies! la di da if your time for being here was clear, then so must be your leaving. if your time for being here was clear, then so must be your leaving. so everytime that you felt well and every place that you made love and everytime you fed your family or, just ate well yourself keep these things close, they are everything
2.
3.
EPHEMERA 01:50
oh ephemera, loaded i might. i lie all night, unfound. certain, lurid ooooooooo mmmmmm
4.
TWIN BOY 02:42
im on a crosshair my words are paper thin and chalk outlined and lessened by design if i were an actor i might tell them of my chalice, all my lines i might i have a substance i see whole twins of all my friends in foreign places i have been i miss them constantly i might just lay beside him if i try it i might like it i might never wanna run or move away again if i just loose it i will undo my ties, oooo im waiting, i will provide i am terrified im blowing smoke at all the insects they oughta kill me i wouldnt blame them i could feed all them for weeks and then theyd all have part of me id just drift around eternally and thennnnnn..... shhhh
5.
i don't see my friends that often i won't talk on borrowed time to me you are only breathing and if i get the chance ill move along and deceive you but you're my friend i only want you to be happy now but i cant stand the way i miss you now lets see if you're the world's safe bet, O carol and me. say you'll last and are only making your recess. you only show up when the bars close. you only wanna turn the light on. well i miss times when we would stay up all night and know that it is awful in life when you are separate, undone, circling heights sing me, circling heights but you sing like "oh you waste your light if you're assigned to me. you waste your light but you won't fade out that easy." you were always on time. you only show up when the bars close, it keeps me waiting up late again. well i been thinking about the past times and will we ever be that way again? well i dont know, i dont know. yeah you're doin pretty well, yeah i know. and i'm just wasting away wasted, awake, and circling heights. sing like oh, circling heights sing me, circling heights you pray like, "oh you waste your life if you gave your son to me. waste your light but you won't fade out that easy." always on time, gloria o.

about

"YOUNG BUT UGLY" was recorded (and primarily written, save for "Halifax") in a single day on April 17th, 2015. This felt like a fitting debut for CIVILS because these are all entry-level songs, captured in the moment of creation and fleshed out through the extra 3 tracks of overdubs allotted by my trusty Tascam 424 cassette recorder.

This was an experiment in "audio sketching" i.e. trying to compose songs intuitively and in real-time; this wasn't supposed to come out, but by the end of the tape it felt like it had earned the title hastily scribbled as an afterthought on the actual master cassette - "young but ugly", based on a tossed-off rap moniker (young butt ugly) for the first ever Civils track, essentially a dub/rap song.

The songs appear in their original order, with some mastering done in pro tools at our home studio Cave Sound. It came out on my 22nd birthday. Still young but ugly.

credits

released August 6, 2015

Everything performed & recorded by Drew Kirby at Cave Sound in Athens, Georgia.
Except vocal samples of (in order) Earl Sweatshirt, MC Shan and Beezy of DEHH.
Cover photo provided by Brittany Giles.
Photo manipulation + design by Drew Kirby.

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CIVILS Atlanta, Georgia

CIVILS produces fully versatile <catch-and-release songcraft> & subconscious renderings.
dangerous pop & bargain bops!
CIVILS aims to have as many tapes as lil b. music and art by Drew Kirby (CDSM, Sunset Honor Unit)

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